My name is Megz and this is my story.

I was 25 years old, recently divorced, and mommy to a precious 2-year-old little girl. I was struggling though I didn’t know it at the time. I was living a reckless life of parties, alcohol and men. What I thought was a one-night stand resulted in a very unplanned pregnancy. I panicked! I was terrified! I couldn’t believe this was happening to me! I immediately decided that I just couldn’t be pregnant. I didn’t consider my options, I didn’t consult anyone else. Within a weeks’ time I had an abortion.

At the time I thought it was the right choice for me and my situation. I believed the lie; the lie that says abortion is a quick fix to a big problem. I believed that having the abortion would allow me to continue living my life uninterrupted. To be honest, immediately following my abortion I did feel relief, almost as if I had gotten away with something. I didn’t tell anyone. I was going to take it to my grave, never telling a soul. Not long after, I started feeling angry, anxious, and depressed. These feelings quickly spiraled into shame, guilt, and condemnation which fueled an eating disorder. I felt as though my maternal instinct was gone and my femininity had dissolved. I did not immediately connect these new destructive feelings and behaviors with my abortion.

I decided to volunteer at our local pregnancy resource center. I thought I was going to go and help the young women in our community make healthy choices. I went there to help others when in reality, that center would save my life.

The post-abortion recovery group that met at the center came along side me during the darkest times of my life. They cared for me, shared with me, laughed with me, cried with me, said some hard things to me that I needed to hear, and helped me to understand that I was forgiven and it was time to forgive myself. I will be forever thankful for those ladies who showed me how to grieve and how to heal. In the beginning I was barely able to tell my story through the tears. Now I can share my story because my heart has been HEALED and I have found HOPE…all because of Jesus!

Wait Jesus? Yep. He’s my bestie…my main man…my savior…my everything. When a miracle happens, you want to tell everyone! I know a miracle happened in me!

So that precious 2-year-old little girl is in high school now. She’s kind of a big deal! Ten years ago, I married the love of my life, Jason (I call him J-Dawg). We dreamt of having more children together and were excited to grow our family right away. Seven years passed, seven years of struggling with infertility. Did my abortion cause my infertility? I really don’t know. What I did know was that we had to trust God with our dreams. We decided to become foster parents having no idea where that road would lead. We have since adopted 2 amazing little girls, half-sisters, who have made our family complete. God is good ya’ll! Wow! When I think about my two littles I am reminded of Isaiah 61:7 that says “Instead of your shame you will receive a double portion”. Being mama to three princesses is absolutely a dream come true!

And yet...my heart still grieves. When I look at our family photos someone is missing. He would be about 12 years old now. I think about what he might look like, what his voice might sound like. I wonder, would he be interested in sports? An artist? A musician? What would he have grown up to be? Would he have married? Had children? I’ll never know. Even though God has healed my heart, I will always grieve the loss of my child. His life mattered and will always matter.

Looking back, I wish I had been more open to the idea of placing him for adoption. I wish I would have been strong enough, brave enough, selfless enough to choose life for him. After our struggle with infertility, I can imagine what a gift he would have been to a family who couldn’t conceive a child of their own.

So what do I do now? I tell my story. I tell my story because I am not alone. Over 1/3 of women in the U.S. have had or will have an abortion in their lifetime. Many of those women will struggle with this choice, some for the rest of their lives. I want these women to know that God sees them and their struggle and He wants to set them free!

I tell my story because other people experience unplanned pregnancies every day and believe abortion is the right option. They believe the same lie that I did…that it will fix everything. In reality, abortion is a great loss that takes the life of a child and oftentimes destroys the lives of the parents. I tell my story to empower others to choose life for their child and for themselves!

I have shared my story at many of our local churches, women’s retreats, teen girl weekends, youth groups, our local radio station and newspaper, various social media outlets and of course YouTube!

Now it’s your turn! Tell me YOUR story! Click on the CONTACT tab...I would love to hear from you!